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By Virginia Boshears
“It’s nothing personal,” Laura says as she leans back in her office chair.
I take a moment to study her face. Nothing personal, huh? I draw in a deep breath and say, “Well, it seems pretty personal to me.”
At this point, I want nothing more than to get up and slam out of her office. But, I don’t. We’re in the middle of a discussion between her, our boss and me. Laura’s protesting my application for a new position within the agency and wants to make sure our supervisor falls her way. I can’t seem to stop my knees from shaking.
“I’m sorry you don’t believe me,” Laura says, “because I really mean it. I have nothing against you. I just feel that only those with college degrees should be considered for this position.”
I level my eyes with hers and say, as calmly as I know how, “You know full well that a college degree is not required. If it were anyone from outside our agency applying for this position, you wouldn’t bat an eye.” What I don’t comment on is that I’m aware this position pays close to what Laura makes, and I know that perturbs her.
Our boss shifts uncomfortably in his chair but doesn’t say anything. Mr. Drake’s a wonderful man who, unfortunately, doesn’t want to take control of the situation. I’ve watched him stare down angry contractors and never break a sweat. But when it comes to his own employees, he’ll do anything to avoid a confrontation. Which is pretty funny since he likes to accuse me of always taking the path of least resistance.
He does, to some degree, have a point. I can’t deny I’m a doormat. But this time, I’m not giving in. I have every right to submit my application for this position. Not only that, but I have a responsibility to my children to do whatever I can to increase my salary.
“Listen,” I say, “all we are even discussing here is submitting my application for consideration. I have no expectations beyond that. I know there’s no guarantee that I’ll win out over the other applicants.” I look from Laura’s face to Mr. Drake’s. The message in her expression is unmistakable. She’s not bending. Mr. Drake’s eyes look weary, but I can see where he’s headed. He looks at me.
“I’m sorry,” he sighs. “I think we should just forget about it.”
I’m stunned. I shouldn’t be, though. Mr. Drake probably figures he’ll have less conflict by agreeing with Laura. Her nature is to fight to the finish. Mine, generally, is to be the duck. Just let it all roll off.
This all occurs on a Friday afternoon, and my entire weekend is clouded with anger and frustration. Admittedly, much of that feeling is aimed at Laura and Mr. Drake. But most of it is directed at myself. I hate being the good little girl all the time. By Sunday evening, my mind is made up. I will not take this one lying down.
Bright and early Monday morning, I’m sitting across from Mr. Drake in his office. His sheepish expression shows how uncomfortable he is with the whole mess.
I get right to the point. “I have to tell you, I’m pretty disappointed in your decision last Friday. You know there’s no harm in my being considered along with all of the other candidates.”
“That’s true,” he says. “But I just don’t want to be in the middle. I’ll tell you what. You can file a grievance. I’ll give you the forms, and we can turn them over to the director. I’ll even drive you to his office to discuss it.” Mr. Drake offers an embarrassed smile that makes it next to impossible for me to stay angry with him.
“Okay,” I say. “Let’s do it.”
By the end of the week, we’re sitting in the director’s office. He leans back in his chair and asks a couple of simple questions. “Do you truly believe you can do this job?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Are you prepared to undertake the physical demands of this job?”
“Absolutely.”
“All right. I’ll let you know something in a few days.” He stands and motions us out of his office.
As we make our way to Mr. Drake’s car, he says, “I think he’ll accept your application.”
“And how will you feel about it if he does?”
“Honestly?” Mr. Drake stopped and faced me. “I want him to accept it. You definitely should be considered for this position. But, as cowardly as it sounds, I don’t want to be the one to go against Laura. She’ll be happier, and everyone will get along much better, if she believes the decision didn’t come from me.”
I should be furious, but I’m not. Here is a man being nakedly candid about his shortcomings. How can I hold that against him? As my mom would say, “What will be, will be.” I just have to be patient.
Within a few days, I learn that my application will indeed be included with the others. Within a couple of weeks, I’m offered the position. I accept.
Laura congratulates me and I offer her a genuine smile. But the smile is more for me than for her. I’ve conquered something much more intimidating than her bull-headedness. I’ve proven to myself that I can fight for something. And win.
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got this in my email. hahaha. this is pretty much wad i believe in most of the time. fighting for wad u think u are capable of. even when everyone is not on ur side. continue fighting for wad u believe and want. u'll never know wad u may get, maybe even more hindrance. but always look out for pleasant surprises along the way. (=
hw come it sounds a bit preachy ahh? o_0