im losing it.

im losing it.
Sunday, Aug. 21, 2005, 8:34 p.m.

my stand is beginning to waver a bit. prob cos aft reading shufy's entry and ryan's constant hounding.

is winning everything?

gee, i nvr thought much of winning. as i always said, winning is just a bonus. the more impt thing is how the team bond and enjoying the process. that feeling beats anything else.

maybe i always have this thought cos sn mm has always been a nice little family (a bit exclusive or anti-social frm the rest).

how we celebrate each other's bdays. act silly together. be there for each other. suan my snrs and jnrs like mad. camp overnight in the mmpr and scaring the shit out of pple.

i can safely say i totally enjoy myself and sn mm is the only thing tt makes me love sn.

sigh, i nvr feel the same warmth now. i feel weary with every single session trying to curb my temper and tolerating rubbish.

i know tt there are pple who are there for me. but sometimes, i feel tt im fighting a battle alone when i enter the room.

i can no longer hold on on my own. wad ac said is true. ur team members are the ones who make mm enjoyable.

even till now, i have more fun hanging out with the jnrs at gwc. though i did linger arnd the tj lot too.

i hate to say this but im losing hope. im losing hope of wad i promised the snrs abt bonding the team together.

i hate this feeling. i seldom lose hope in my belief. maybe that's why im starting to think tt winning will prob bring us together?

i dunno. really dunno. i really miss the sn mm days where i looked fwd for cca every single time since sec2.

i hate it when all of us are just doing our own stuff and not interacting with each other. sighs.

okay, im just feeling too nostalgic. ignore me. rahh. :/